This fall John, the boys and I prepared a garden bed in the front yard. We moved rocks, turned the earth, and planted tulips bulbs. It was a cool fall day and we were digging our bare toes into moist cool earth as we worked. It is such a clear, crisp joyful memory for me. I remember feeling more energy and strength than I had in a long time. I remember thinking that all of my working out and eating right had given me a reservoir of energy I previously hadn't had. I remember telling Tobin about how plants grow and what they need to thrive and live. I remember our giggles and conversations as we worked. The boys picked up precious rocks to keep and chased each other around the yard. We dug in the earth with our bare hands and the smell of moist earth is fresh in my memory. Now those tulip bulbs have sprouted green plants pressing through the earth. I worried that the spot we planted them wouldn't get enough sunlight and now I still worry that even though the tulips have broken through the earth they won't get enough sunlight to bloom. I am excited to watch them flower and bloom. There is a parallel here to raising my boys with sunshine and love that seems just out of reach in my mind. I want to express it in the best language possible but all I can think of is what I have already expressed: Am I providing my boys with enough sunshine and love? They will sprout and bloom regardless of my worries and regardless of whether I am ready or not. They will continue to grow and push through the earth and eventually they will bloom. I just want to make sure that I have given them everything I have to give before they reach that point.
The last few weeks I have been impressed with how much my boys have grown up in the blink of an eye. Rayn has become a thoughtful, intelligent, charming boy. He has a quirky sense of humor all his own. He is a bit reserved still and approaches the world mentally as a problem to solve before he approaches it physically. Tobin is a very astute little boy who misses nothing and makes astonishing mental connections he attacks life and the world with a ruthless commitment to exploring and a terrifying lack of fear! I just try to keep up with him.
This morning I realized we have about three weeks of training time before Rayn's first 5K with me. I informed Rayn that he and I would be back to training for his race. This means on my rest days I will run three miles with Rayn to get him in his best shape for his first race. He loves running with me. I love the time we get to spend together chatting and exercising in the Colorado sunshine. Tobin loves coming along with us in the jogging stroller. I like that pushing him gives me an extra workout. So it is a win/win except as I write this I realize I am tired. Hopefully this next week I will be able to rejuvenate a little as both boys are on spring break.
I am looking forward to running, gardening, and playing with my boys in the warmer weather and sunshine this spring.
