Spring has sprung

This fall John, the boys and I prepared a garden bed in the front yard.  We moved rocks, turned the earth, and planted tulips bulbs.  It was a cool fall day and we were digging our bare toes into moist cool earth as we worked.  It is such a clear, crisp joyful memory for me.  I remember feeling more energy and strength than I had in a long time.  I remember thinking that all of my working out and eating right had given me a reservoir of energy I previously hadn't had.  I remember telling Tobin about how plants grow and what they need to thrive and live.  I remember our giggles and conversations as we worked.  The boys picked up precious rocks to keep and chased each other around the yard.  We dug in the earth with our bare hands and the smell of moist earth is fresh in my memory.  Now those tulip bulbs have sprouted green plants pressing through the earth.  I worried that the spot we planted them wouldn't get enough sunlight and now I still worry that even though the tulips have broken through the earth they won't get enough sunlight to bloom. I am excited to watch them flower and bloom.  There is a parallel here to raising my boys with sunshine and love that seems just out of reach in my mind.  I want to express it in the best language possible but all I can think of is what I have already expressed: Am I providing my boys with enough sunshine and love?  They will sprout and bloom regardless of my worries and regardless of whether I am ready or not.  They will continue to grow and push through the earth and eventually they will bloom.  I just want to make sure that I have given them everything I have to give before they reach that point.

The last few weeks I have been impressed with how much my boys have grown up in the blink of an eye.  Rayn has become a thoughtful, intelligent, charming boy.  He has a quirky sense of humor all his own.  He is a bit reserved still and approaches the world mentally as a problem to solve before he approaches it physically.  Tobin is a very astute little boy who misses nothing and makes astonishing mental connections he attacks life and the world with a ruthless commitment to exploring and a terrifying lack of fear!  I just try to keep up with him.    

This morning I realized we have about three weeks of training time before Rayn's first 5K with me.  I informed Rayn that he and I would be back to training for his race.  This means on my rest days I will run three miles with Rayn to get him in his best shape for his first race.  He loves running with me.  I love the time we get to spend together chatting and exercising in the Colorado sunshine.   Tobin loves coming along with us in the jogging stroller.  I like that pushing him gives me an extra workout.  So it is a win/win except as I write this I realize I am tired.  Hopefully this next week I will be able to rejuvenate a little as both boys are on spring break.

I am looking forward to running, gardening, and playing with my boys in the warmer weather and sunshine this spring.

My yearly post! :)

Goodness gracious I am bad at posting here. The last post was over a year ago and so much has changed. Once again I find myself vowing that I will blog here more often. I can't honestly say that I will, but I want to! :) I don't really know where to start so I will simply dive in.

A week before Christmas John quit his job. He walked out on his verbally abusive boss and never looked back. It was a terrifying and incredibly rewarding step for John. He spent the weekend considering going back to work on Monday morning and asking for more money to put up with his boss. We quickly realized that there is no price tag on abuse. It didn't matter how much money his boss would give him it wasn't worth going back to. The upshot of all that is that John has been self employed ever since. He started out doing a lot of maintenance work for our amazing friends who were all willing to hire John to get things done around their homes and has quickly transitioned almost entirely into programming work. He still has a list of people he will be doing maintenance work for as well. Although the transition is a good one and John has very supportive people helping and encouraging him along the way, all transition has its own hardships. We have missed him here at home as he has been working constantly. Even when he is at home he is programming. He has had to make a point of carving some time out of his work schedule to see his boys. We think that his schedule might slow down a little once we have caught up a bit financially.

The boys are amazing, wonderful, and a hand full! I am still shocked at how very different they are. Rayn is our gentle sweetheart who wants to explore the world as a scientist and photographer. His greatest wish is to be the explorer who discovers that dinosaurs are still alive, so we have been reading books on cryptozoology and he is fascinated. In school he is thriving in reading, reasoning, art, and science. It is astonishing to watch him blossom and grow. He throws the occasional seven year old temper tantrum, but I can almost always predict that he is getting sick when he throws a tantrum like that. He is the most loving and amazing older brother any kid could ask for, and he is the sweetest kindest son I could ever imagine.

Tobin is our little firecracker, he shows no fear and explores the world full charge ahead. I have been letting him fall off of little things instead of saving him in the hopes that it will teach him some caution in a safer environment. So far no luck. He is talking up a storm and identifying the world around him word for word. He loves climbing and needs little to no help to get to heights that terrify this Mama's heart. He explores the volume of his vocal chords in passionate screams when he doesn't get his way and has quickly learned that Mama does not tolerate screaming. He adores Rayn and asks me all day long if we're leaving to pick Rayn up from school yet. He loves building towers and other amazing constructions with blocks. He thinks the zoo should be an every day activity, and he is happy to proclaim: "I am a monster" and then growl deep in his chest. He is trouble on two legs and he is ever so charming about being trouble. He will look at you with his big blue eyes as you are saying no to something, his smile grows a mile wide and then he just does what ever he is not supposed to do faster. It is hard not to laugh at his antics. We all adore him and are marveling at how fast time is going by. Hard to believe he is already two!

Our beloved Jessi dog died of cancer earlier this year and we all miss her companionship. We weren't sure we were going to get another dog, but I have a firm belief that boys should grow up with dogs, and I miss her constant companionship. So we have been discussing the possibility of a puppy this summer. :)

In May we are traveling to Florida for a big Oakley family reunion and to celebrate John's Grandmothers birthday. We are looking forward to time with family, time with each other, and playing on the beach!

I am still determined to get my license as a therapist, timing is the only issue. We continue to be busy, busy, busy, and are loving every moment of our very full lives.

Too long

It has been too long since I have last written, so I will do a quick update of things I'm sure most of you already know, and then hopefully I will blog more regularly again.

My boys are fantastic! Tobin is no longer a baby, although he is still "my baby". He is a toddler. He has lumps on his bumps and bruises on his lumps from toddling around the world and falling at every opportunity. Luckily he has a hard head like the rest of his family and survives the falls with only a few tears and screams. :) It is so much fun to watch him develop, grow, and become his own little person with a huge personality. Rayn is amazing, he is in Kindergarten and loving it. He is learning to read, write, do math, and of course his favorites: science and recess. Watching Tobin reminds me of Rayn at this age and I marvel at how much he has grown and changed.

I find myself with very little time to do anything but follow my toddler around and let him explore while keeping him relatively safe. And so housework and personal projects have taken a back seat to guiding and guarding my boys. When Tobin is napping I am either working out or playing board games, tickling, wrestling, doing projects with Rayn. At the end of the day I fall dead asleep in bed without much of a chance to mull over my days. I have stolen this quiet moment today while the boys play with balloons behind me in the living room. I am very lucky that my six year old manages to find entertainment in his one year old brother from time to time. Those are precious moments to watch, and also precious moments to do something of my own in.

John is still at the same company that he has been at for almost the past three years. Although he enjoys his work he struggles with other aspects of the company. And yes, I am being intentionally vague here. :) Every evening he comes home from work and takes the boys off of my hands for a while so that I can have a moment to myself. He loves being with his family and is looking forward to the shorter commute he will have come June.

Speaking of his commute. In June we are moving half an hour further south, which will put him that much closer to work. Friends of ours have generously offered to rent us their house! We are thrilled. For me that most exciting part is having a fenced yard for my boys to play in. I keep dreaming and anticipating! Every time something happens here that I don't enjoy I tell myself "three more months until we move"!

I have decided to pursue a little more education. I haven't decided exactly what direction I am headed in and need to do some research. I either want to get my certification as a life coach, or (and this is the one I'm learning towards) I would like to get my license as a therapist. I am very excited (and scared) about my decisions, but I know that I am headed in the right direction.

Now I must run and take Rayn to school. :) More another time.

Good Morning

Thanksgiving and my birthday all passed in a blur. Now we are speeding towards Gabriel's birthday, Christmas, and New Year's. Baby Bug is due in two months. What happens to time? It's amazing really how fast our days go by, and our children grow up. Rayn is sitting next to me devouring his breakfast and as I watch him I see him more as a little boy, but in my heart he is still my baby. He takes my heart with him where ever he goes leaving me vulnerable and I am aware that soon two little boys will be moving out in this world carrying my heart with them. I just saw a commercial on tv of a Mom saying goodbye to her two sons as they head off to ride their bikes packed entirely in bubble wrap and wearing their helmets and obviously miserable. Although I giggled my heart understood this Mom's actions, how I wish I could pack my boys in bubble wrap. Instead I armor them with my love, I try to teach them to make good decisions and that their actions have consequences, I try to instill kindness and confidence in them. How much larger this task seems with two boys to guide, fill up, and teach.

Rayn is learning to read, had I already mentioned that in the last update? My Mom's pregnant memory is filled with holes. His interest in reading fills me with joy. Once a week we do a family night, usually that night is filled with board games, but recently we have been doing science experiments instead. Rayn loves the science experiments and is always hungry for more. He is happily doing chores everyday and loves to help me with even more than the chores that are on his chore chart. He loves to cook with Mama in the kitchen, he adores wrestling his Dada every evening when Dada gets home from work, and riding his bike around the neighborhood always brings him joy and rosy cheeks. Yesterday John, Rayn, and I spent a couple of hours swimming at the rec center. We splashed a lot, giggled a lot, and I enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness. :) Leaving at the end of our time there was hard on Rayn. One of the things we lost with our move was the indoor pool we had in our community, but here we are just a short car ride away from our local rec center and we plan on taking advantage of that fact.

Time for me to take Rayn to school. Have a glorious day. :)

Andrea

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, I was going to post pictures this morning, I really was...BUT...John took off for work with the camera in the car. :) So it will have to wait yet again. We survived our move, although some days it felt like we weren't going to. We had a lot of amazing friends show up to help us move. They went way above and beyond the call of duty. We are loving our new home. Rayn said he likes it better than the old home, I think that's because we have set up a room for his little brother. There are some things I miss about our old home, mainly the proximity of dear friends, but our bedroom here is a little bigger and gets morning sunshine, so I sit by the window in my comfy chair with my cup of hot tea and wake up as slowly as Rayn will let me. :) There are still boxes to unpack and things to put away. I was on a roll with the unpacking until I became anemic, then it was all I could do to stay awake and upright on a given day. The iron supplements have been helping, but now I have a lot of catching up to do.

I am thankful for so many things this Thanksgiving that it is hard to express them all and do them justice. I am thankful that John has a job in this economy, I am thankful for our home (and our washer and dryer), I am thankful for my sweet little family, I am thankful for the baby growing in my tummy (who is a fearsome kicker....I'm thinking martial artist), I am thankful for my friends and family, and I am thankful for our health, I am thankful for you! There is so much more, but I think I will spare you all of them. :)

I am 30 weeks pregnant and doing well. Bug is a very active baby. I can feel him a little bit throughout the day, but then at night he wakes up and starts kicking like crazy. I never felt Rayn kick as much as I have felt Bug. John and I are still laughing about the time last week when I was hugging him from behind and bug actually kicked him in the behind! When I was pregnant with Rayn John was talking to my belly when Rayn hauled off and kicked him in the nose. I didn't think that could be topped, but Bug kicking him in the behind is pretty good. :) His due date has been moved up to February 3rd, one day after Rayn's due date, and my Obgyn isn't sure he will stay put even that long. I have reached that point in my pregnancy where I am just ready to meet and hold my baby boy. It has become hard to wait.

Rayn is doing really well. He has made so many adjustments this year with grace and humor. He is in his last year of preschool and loving every minute of it. He feels very at home in his preschool and runs in to start playing right away every morning. And in the afternoons when I come to get him he runs towards me with a huge grin on his face, open arms, and yelling "Mama"! It is a wonderful way to be greeted and my favorite moment of every week. After greeting me with such enthusiasm he then turns back to playing. He is starting to read with me at home, which thrills me to no end. I am such a book worm that it is something that I have always desired to share with my kids. Rayn's mind seems to be a bit more analytical like his Dad's. He loves things organized and ordered, he loves patterns, he loves figuring out the way things work. He has been solving simple math problems in his head for a while now. He has always been a physically some what cautious boy, slow to try anything new physically, but this year he is jumping from great heights, trying new things out and generally much more comfortable with his bodies abilities. He has had his first swim lesson now and loved that as well. We are hoping by the time our neighborhood pools open he will be swimming like a fish!

John is still working for the same company installing audio and visual components. He really enjoys the work, but sadly still struggles some with his boss. We are both grateful that he is employed and yet looking for a new opportunity for him. Something closer to home would be nice. He currently commutes about an hour and ten minutes each way. That makes for a long day on the road for him, and it feels like a lot of our income is spent on gas. His boss has been quick to promise him a raise and very slow to deliver. At this point we'd just be happy for a gas card so that his company pays for the commute. He does enjoy what he does and has programmed our home movie set up so that everything runs very smoothly and amazingly. He is also truly the handiest man I have ever known, I don't think there is anything that he can't fix or create. I love that about him. He is rediscovering his passion for and enjoyment in photography and would love to have a new camera for Christmas to explore that passion with. He has done hours of research on the best camera and knows exactly which one he wants, so now we are saving up for a new family camera.

This is probably more of an update than any of you ever wished for! :) Thanks for reading.
My love to you all, and a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Andrea

Bike rides and baby names

Rayn got his first big boy bike from a friend this past week. We have already had so much fun riding it around the neighborhood. His biggest adjustment on his big boy bike is learning to use his brakes. On his tricycle he didn't have any brakes and so he would just use his feet to brake with. He was very brave and showed a lot of endurance on our short little walk to the grocery store. It was his very first bike ride and perhaps a bit ambitious on our part, but Rayn did his best, and Jello only had to catch him once when he went speeding out of control down a slight incline towards the street forgetting entirely about the brakes and instead taking his feet off of the pedals. I have pictures of him on his little red bike stored safely in my camera, but I couldn't begin to tell you where the cord is for uploading those pictures from the camera to my computer. As soon as I find it you will see the pictures of Rayn on his new bike.

Baby bug is treating me very nicely indeed. Most of my morning sickness seems to have relented. I do have to eat first thing in the morning or I am inviting disaster. The days John stays home with me I always do better as he constantly reminds me to eat and drink and gives me chances to rest while he plays with Rayn. Last night he massaged my aching back and tired feet. Such a good man! :) He also paints my toe nails for me so that I don't have to contort in order to do so. What more could I ask for?! We are still debating baby names and have come up with our two top favorites. We thought we'd let you tell us which one you prefer with no gaurantees on what we end up chosing. The two top running names are:

Keagan Oz - Keagan means thinker/fiery. Oz means peace.
Riley Teague - Riley means valiant. Teague means poet.

John prefers one and I prefer the other, can you guess which ones we prefer? Who knows, once he is born we may come up with the perfect name and ditch both of the above options after all.

My love to all,
Andrea

Bug Oakley

The amnio is over with, thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers, good wishes and support. I was scared, but I withstood it and it is over now. Still the chance of miscarriage looms for a week, but I am very hopeful that will not come to pass. Are you dying for the news yet? Having a hard time reading this far? Baby Bug has perfect and gorgeous little feet, with entirely suckable little toes, and Bug has perfect adorable arms, hands and fingers. The Doc said that Bug looks perfectly and amazingly healthy and I fell in love with Bug the moment I saw Bug. Okay, okay, I'll spill, Baby Bug is.......a boy! :) I thought I would be more disappointed when I heard the news, but the truth is that I am already in love with this little Bug and more than ready to love him, squeeze him, and dance him through this life.

Later tonight I will try and scan pictures of the most miraculous Bug and post them here.